Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Issues With Older Brother


My poor ten year old broke down today at dinner and just cried and cried. He was sobbing so hard. I held his hands and told him it's Ok to cry. I told Marshall to give him a hug. Marshall grabbed Nate by the shirt and pulled him up so he could hug him.

Nathan was 3 when I decided to divorce his Dad. He still remembers a few things but not everything. Nate was being abused (not terribly bad but it was getting worse) and his Dad was sleeping around. The decision to divorce him was made after a lot of prayer and fasting. I know it was the right thing to do.

Nate has ADHD and severe anxiety. He takes Concerta and Zoloft but he is just not handling things lately. He's upset by everything Marshall does or says. I don't know what to do for him. I have to call the doctor tomorrow. He had a bad day at school and was tired. He comes home feeling very upset most days. Some kids are so mean!!! Nate is a sweet boy and such a good friend to everyone but some people are not nice. He needs to be in a place where people who love him can show it. Unfortunately, when I'm babysitting, I don't pay much attention to him because I've suddenly got 5 kids instead of two.

He was too upset to eat, which will get me in trouble with the doctor because he's supposed to be gaining weight. I feel like the mom in this song--

Which Part Is Mine?
words and music by Michael Mclean

She was only a dairy man's daughter,
she was only a child of thirteen;
but the stars on the radio brightened her nights with a dream.
So she called up her best girlfriend Jenny
'cause she thought they would make quite a pair,
She said, "Let's you and me, try to sing harmony
at the amateur night at the fair."

But she only had the range of an alto,
so the part she knew best went to her friend.
And when Jenny's soprano drowned out the piano
they'd have to start over again.
And the dairyman's daughter would then say,

"Which part is mine?
and Jen, which part is yours?
Could you tell me one more time;
I'm never quite sure.

And I won't cross the line
like I have before.
So please help me learn which part is mine,
and which part is yours."

She grew up and got married to Bobby
kept him working on his MBA
they had two little redheaded children,
and one on the way.

Everybody said she could work wonders,
and she wondered what everyone meant.
She played so many roles, it was taking its toll
and she feared that her time was misspent.

So she opened her heart to her husband.
They discussed everything on her list.
from the kids, to the job,
to her feelings for her Bob.
But what it really boiled down to was this: She said:

"Which part is mine?
and Bob, which part is yours?
Let's review it one more time;
I guess I"m not sure.

And I won't cross the line
like I have before
if we just define which part is mine,
and which part is yours."

Every sleepless night knows many mothers
who are wond'ring if they've done alright.
And the dairyman's daughter knew
more than a few of those nights.

Had she given her son too much freedom?
Had she smothered her two teenage girls?
Did she spoil them too much or not trust them enough
to prepare them for life in this world?

So she opened her heart to the heavens
and she spoke of her children by name.
And the prayer that she prayed
that her kids would be saved had a very familiar refrain.

Which part is mine?
And God, which part is yours?
Could you tell me one more time,
I'm never quite sure.

And I won't cross the line
like I have before.
But it gets so confusing some times.
Should I do more, or trust the divine?
Please, just help me define which part's mine,
and which part is yours.

Did you hear me?
I can feel you near me.
It is the answer
that I've been longing for;

just to know you hear me,
and to feel you near me.
It's all the answer
that I've been longing for.

Did you hear me?
I can feel you near me.
It is the answer
that I've been longing for;

just to know you hear me,
after I've done my best,
and to feel you near me.
I know you'll do the rest.
It is the answer that I've been longing for!

3 comments:

Ima Mom said...

I love that song by Micheal McLean. Great thought. Yesterday at the Children's Center they recommended a journal/ drawing book for our oldest when she gets severe anxiety...does he like to draw? Art therapy has really helped us.

Anita Nap said...

Nathan does like to draw. He is a very "touch" oriented person. We are working on increasing the positive interactions in our home.

Melissa said...

Anita,
I am with you on this one. Our oldest son has autism and we have had some very disturbing behaviors emerge over the past couple months. I don't know what else to do and it is very hard on our life at home some days. He doesn't understand why Josh takes up so much time and why he has to be nice to him... ect. It's hard! If I get any inpirational ideas, I will pass them along. Hang in there!