Monday, March 23, 2009

Speech therapy is a drag

Speech is my least favorite therapy.  I hate the fact that I can't make my son talk.  I know I couldn't "make" him crawl or walk or anything else but I felt that I could take him through the steps over and over until he understood and did it by himself.  But speech?...*sigh*  speech.... I can't even "make" him go through the steps.  I have no control and it doesn't seem to get through to him what I am doing.  I am so antsy for him to communicate effectively.  I literally dream of him talking, of him saying "I love you Mom" then I wake up and cry myself back to sleep.  

Don't get me wrong, he is making progress, big progress.  He will mimic certain sounds.  If I say Woo-hoo!  He comes back with oo-oooo!  And if I change to Aahhhh!  He will change to Aahhh!  If he doesn't all I have to do is remind him what I said and you can see the wheels turn and he changes his noise to the correct one.  He is understanding!  He is hearing the differences!  He just can't make it all work together.  

Most days I feel like it is all I think about.  I cry about it at least once a week.  I want everything for JT but I just don't have control of this.  No matter how hard I try I can't force the words out.  His younger cousins are passing him up completely now.  They did with crawling and walking and now talking.  It tears me apart.  

This has been the first thing I am unsure of.  I knew everything else would come.  I even knew about when he was getting close to doing it.  I don't feel like we are close.  I don't even know if I see it on the horizon.  I am beat.  


Katie said...

By the way, I am sorry I just ended our streak of goodness. It was nice.

Melissa said...

OK.. Josh just deleted my whole comment. I feel for you, Katie! I have been down this road before..and I wish you the best. Take care and call me if you need anything!

Luke and Erin said...

Bree struggles with speech too. It can be very difficult, and at times it feels we have a very long time of it ahead of us. Her doctors said that she may not talk, but I keep hope that she has all ready done so much that she can talk too. I hope for the very best possible for you guys!

Mel said...

Katie- I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. I know those frustrations well. I haven't met your son but after reading your post I believe there is so much potential for him and his speech. He is mimicing sounds! That is so wonderful! I really think it will come along:)

Katie said...

Thanks guys. Most people don't understand the whole speech thing. In fact, there are a couple people who like to tell me whenever they meet a 3 year old who can't speak yet. Stuff like that never helps.