Thursday, February 26, 2009

I'm feeling guilty and tired.

I'm feeling a little guilty.  I'm new to posting but I have three boys who have various issues.  My 13 year old is a High functioning autistic, my 10 year old is PDD-NOS...better known as ODD with a little (no correction) a lot of ADHD, anxiety and just plain boy thrown in.  My 5 year old is currently not diagnosed and I like it that way.  
The reason I'm feeling guilty is he attended his social skills graduation last night and I didn't have the greatest attitude.  After 10 years of being in ABA, DTT, natural environment, Floortime,...I can't even remember some therapies we've tried...  I left there a bit jaded.  He asked me what he was going to do next to help fix him...and I said, "We're done.  No more therapies, therapist, or going to therapy classes.  No more fighting with insurance, regional centers or anyone else.  I'm just done."

With the candidness of a 13 year old (and he's been speaking since he was 6 1/2) he said..."Don't you mean WE'RE done?"  That's why I feel guilty.  I don't know if he really doesn't need more therapy or I'm just tired of him being in some type of therapy.  I'm tired of people coming to my house, me driving to a clinic, doctor office, center or our last stint...UCLA.  I guess I'm just tired.

13 comments:

Annette Monts Falls said...

Lorrie, It is okay to feel guilty and tired...Heaven knows I feel that way still more often than I care to admit to......way more than I care to admit to and you'd think I'd have that 'victory' of emotions undercontrol by now! Don't feel you are alone. Don't beat yourself up. Do allow as your circumstances permit, yourself to have some Lorrie time...spent with friends, just you and them, a long warm soak in a wonderfully scented bath with candles and favorite music.....lock the door if possible and let someone else keep watch but to leave you some you time; do whatever it takes to renew your spirit and your physical & emotional exhaustion. I don't know more else to try to help but to try to reassure you that all of us feel the same emotions...some more overwhelming at times, some more severe in nature, some approaching those same emotions, and those who have already survived to certain extents the way you feel now. However, you are strong and you can vent and know that others care for you as a mom, as a woman, as a sister and a member of a very specific group of travelers to Holland. Let us lift you in our thoughts, our hearts and our prayers........love and hugs, Annette

Lori said...

don't think I could add anything better then what Annette said. big cyber loves sent your way.

Katie said...

Ditto Ditto Ditto. Remember that even those "bad" feelings that seem totally unnatural and make you feel guilty are valid feelings that we all have sometimes especially when put in our situations. You know what is best for your family, no matter what that is.

Katie said...

Ditto Ditto Ditto. Remember that even those "bad" feelings that seem totally unnatural and make you feel guilty are valid feelings that we all have sometimes especially when put in our situations. You know what is best for your family, no matter what that is.

Lorrie said...

Thanks for the comments. I'm scheduling a bath for tonight.
Hugs,
Lorrie

tiptoe mama said...

Good for you. Enjoy that bath! and welcome to our tulip garden.

Anita Nap said...

My 4-year old sounds a lot like your 10 year old. I'm sure I could learn a lot from you.

I'm sick of hearing that my child is "normal". I would love it if that were the case but it's not. He is soo difficult and currently takes Risperdal to help his anger issues. I'm tired of our school district saying he doesn't qualify for services. He has a pretty significant fine motor delay but I guess it depends on who does the testing. We have OT and feeding therapy with an SLP. They want us to do a social skills class and I would love to get involved with that but it doesn't work out with our schedule.

Wheelchair said...

Hey, very nice site. I came across this on Google, and I am stoked that I did. I will definitely be coming back here more often. Wish I could add to the conversation and bring a bit more to the table, but am just taking in as much info as I can at the moment. Thanks for sharing.
Light Wheelchair

Keep Posting:)

Wheelchair said...

Hey, very nice site. I came across this on Google, and I am stoked that I did. I will definitely be coming back here more often. Wish I could add to the conversation and bring a bit more to the table, but am just taking in as much info as I can at the moment. Thanks for sharing.
Pediatric Wheelchair

Keep Posting:)

Wheelchair said...

Hey, very nice site. I came across this on Google, and I am stoked that I did. I will definitely be coming back here more often. Wish I could add to the conversation and bring a bit more to the table, but am just taking in as much info as I can at the moment. Thanks for sharing.
Chair For Cerebral Palsy Child

Keep Posting:)

Wheelchair said...

Hey, very nice site. I came across this on Google, and I am stoked that I did. I will definitely be coming back here more often. Wish I could add to the conversation and bring a bit more to the table, but am just taking in as much info as I can at the moment. Thanks for sharing.
Best Wheelchair For Heavy Person

Keep Posting:)

Wheelchair said...

Hey, very nice site. I came across this on Google, and I am stoked that I did. I will definitely be coming back here more often. Wish I could add to the conversation and bring a bit more to the table, but am just taking in as much info as I can at the moment. Thanks for sharing.
Ultra Lightweight Wheelchair

Keep Posting:)

Wheelchair said...

Hey, very nice site. I came across this on Google, and I am stoked that I did. I will definitely be coming back here more often. Wish I could add to the conversation and bring a bit more to the table, but am just taking in as much info as I can at the moment. Thanks for sharing.
Transport Chairs

Keep Posting:)