First you should know we have a five year old who has anxiety and sensory issues and is borderline for Asperger's. She is our mommy figure. Her brother is 15 months younger and also has anxiety, Asperger's, sensory processing disorder and we are looking into ADHD. Then we have our second youngest who is 3 and has separation anxiety. They all sit very close to each other as they are one year apart exactly in Primary classes. So...I imagine it can be a handful since they have only really ever played with each other and not very many neighborhood kids. I got hurt over and over again trying to have play dates with their peers. Moms called to say we should "take a break playing with each other", my children got violent or mean and well....now we just stick together for the most part.
But back to my story (I have ADD) I imagine my son who covers his ears during sacrament because the music is too loud, kicks pinches and slaps me across the face when he gets overwhelmed there. We go out in the hall to jump up and down, spin in circle, run around outside or just play in the bathroom water sometimes.
I am not surprised that he can't sit still in Primary. He and his sisters complain every week that they hate church and don't want to go. It breaks my heart. I imagine they feel just as stressed and pressured as we do about making it through the three hours in one piece. I want them to go every week, I think it is vital to our long term happiness. But I also want them to feel a peace there.
So I asked this sister if she thought it would be possible to get a special helper called in Primary to help the children who need help. There are several special needs/high functioning autistic kids in our ward. her response was that they don't want to single anyone out. They can get special services at school but they won't do that at church. I asked if my kids could bring a picture of the family to help with the separation or a fidget toy for the siting still. Nope. It's a distraction to the other children.
I told her about the First Presidency's message on autistic children and making arrangements for them and any other disability at church. I felt like a nut after talking to her and getting so emotional over some of the comments made about how out of control some of the kids (who are special needs) can be.
So I came home and balled. Does anyone else have issues with this? How do you make Sundays enjoyable? How do you handle Primary?
Needless to say I called her back when I was more calm and I think she understood a little better. I also called the bishop's counselor over Primary after telling my husband what had happened. So I am hoping progress will be made.
Why do I still feel like I ruffled feathers and did something outlandish in speaking up? Why do I feel like people see me as overbearing or a helicopter mom. People have told me they think our kids are normal and we just call them special needs...ummmm, okay?