I've spent the last two days at school with her - admittedly to make myself feel better- she doesn't need me there. She adjusts just fine. Today, I decided I would let her go all by herself. It is a short day. It can't be that bad right? There are so many things I need to be doing. I don't think my house has been properly cleaned since OCTOBER, I've got bills to pay, deadlines to meet, obligations to fulfill, etc. etc. etc. But all I can do is worry about my kids today. (A was tearful this morning about nobody playing with him at recess)
When people tell you that parenting is hard, they don't explain it. They don't tell you that your heart literally aches, and that ulcers develop overnight. My husband is fine with all this. These things don't phase him. He says these things will help to strengthen their character, and build their independence. And of course my head tells me he's right, but when will my heart catch up? Why are these things so hard for me?
I guess I just need to whine to someone. I feel so pathetic and wimpy today, and I have to giggle a little, because I can't help but think of all the times 'regular' Moms have told me how strong I must be (just because I'm a special needs mom. Not because of anything in particular) and I have to think, If only they could see me now...... glad they can't. There's still something comforting in a small vote of confidence no matter how unfounded I feel it is. :) thanks for listening to me girls. I needed that.