Friday, December 19, 2008

Overwhelmed...

Okay right now I am being reminded why I am not a big fan of holidays. Any holidays. My oldest daughter has been crying all day because she already misses her teacher and is sad they're taking a "long winter nap." She thrives on routine so this next two weeks could get ugly. My other daughter is biting her sister because there was only one popsicle in the freezer. GO FIGURE...it is a blizzard outside and they are fighting over frozen food.

Last year we had just finished another ear surgery at Primary Children's on December 22nd and today we got some sobering news. I took three of us in to our family doctor and here are the results. Our six month old has his second ear double ear infection with fluid in the last month. He is recommending a specialist and surgery.

Our three year old has a congential defect we just found out about. A couple weeks ago a strange bump showed up on her neck. Come to find out all of the green goopy sinus infections and the bump are related. A cyst as a result of unclosed sinus passages???? Haven't researched this yet. Anywho, surgery number two and appointment number two with Mr. ENT, since it will never go away on it's own unless removed. Our four year old has an appointment with Primary Children's in January to get his genetic issue fixed, and yep...surgery. I am so sad for all of them because I know how traumatic this has been in the past and I know they are in pain.

I have my regular winter smoker's cough even though I've never touched a cigarette. The CT scan last year showed scar tissue on my lungs. So after a positive PPD (tuberculosis screen) and nine months of antibiotics through the health dept. I am here again hacking up a lung. But no worries you can't catch it. Asthma? Can't breathe? That would also be our five year old every winter. We catch any virus out there and take it to the tenth degree.

Family gatherings from three different sides with conflicting schedules, styles and agendas seem to bring an added measure of drama. It's not fun for me to sit in a room full of people and know that half of them genuinely dislike us/me. I find myself wish my family of origin was not reckluse or conlficted. I miss the traditions we had as a child and I miss the real spirit of Christ I want to feel now in my own home. Mix that with children who get overstimulated in loud settings and it can be interesting. Last week when we went out for a birthday dinner and my oldest son had a meltdown and started hitting me which made my mom mad...you can imagine the rest I'm sure.

So today I find myself singing "Where are you Christmas? I can not find you." Any ideas for where to pick up some Christmas cheer? I'm off to pick up our z-pack, omnicef, ibuprofen, mucinex and all expense paid trip from the pharmaceutical rep at Target.

8 comments:

tiptoe mama said...

Sheesh! I would have been overwhelmed at the double ear infection. I can't blame you one bit for feeling overwhelmed, and I can totally understand the whole family issue thing. It's hard to be a mother at Christmas time. So much to do, then adding in the special needs..... Hang in there, know that you are loved in the tulips, and that there will be some extra prayers headed your way.

Lori said...

When it rains it pours. I'm sorry. I agree with tiptoe, good vibes being sent in your direction.

heather said...
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Happy in Holland said...

I'm sorry you are going through so much right now. It's hard to go through any of those singly, but to put them all together makes it so much harder. I hope you are able to find the spirit of Christmas that you are looking for and that it leaves you with renewed hope for the new year! I'm sending you all the good vibes I can!

Happy in Holland said...
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Katie said...

Life sucks sometimes. I hope the best for you. You have so much on your plate that my suggestion may not sound like a good one. I have found when I am feeling the worst about life and my situation, if I do something for someone else I feel a lot better. I know that sounds crazy when you have so much with your own family but doing something special (calling a friend who is having a rough time, sending a heartfelt card to someone) has been the only thing that gives me that old Christmas feeling. Don't do anything big that would take time away from your children, and the recipient is usually extra appreciative because they know how hectic your life is. Reaching out and remembering that Italy isn't always perfect...that's how I get my Christmas spirit. I hope you find your way.

Kim said...

I am new to thru the tulips and I was introduced to your blog by Lori, she is my sister-in-law. I have a 3-yr-old (will be 4 in Jan)who in the process of being diagnosed autistic. My heart goes out to you, all of you. I have to admit that I have had a hard time this year getting in the spirit of the season too. If you find let me know :).
Kim

Anita Nap said...

We had a family party Saturday that went like this:
Phone call from my Dad at 1pm..."Are you coming?" Me: "Yeah, I thought it started at 4:30pm". Dad: "Oh, we thought you were coming at noon." Me: "Noon? I didn't get that message." Dad: "Well get here as quick as you can."

So, we scurry around getting things ready and get there 2 hrs later. Brian was smart and took his laptop. Marshall was smart and took a box of cars to play with. My Step-Mom was kind enough to have a room by the front door cleaned out so kids could play in there. I took my piano music. Did my siblings talk to me? Not much. Did they talk to Brian? No, not really. The extended family arrived and there are a few people who talk to us. Really we're just outsiders. Marshall hid out with Brian downstairs and was happy to be away from the majority of the noise.
I'm sorry about your family parties. I hope everyone gets better soon. I know a great ENT but she's down here in Utah County.