It's been a long while since I've posted anything, and today is probably not the day I should break that streak. I am so tired today. Mentally, emotionally tired. exhausted is a better word. We've dealt with a lot of big stuff lately. -non tulip related. but never the less, big stuff. I am worn out and ornery and all my patience and understanding is gone. I'm in 'one of those moods'.
A member of our family - with good intentions- excitedly told me about a special needs play that she and her husband had been to. As they say it: his cousin "is.....(awkward pause)....special needs." This cousin is much older than they are and I don't believe that they know what his issues are. They proceeded to describe how 'special' the whole performance was and how they just cried. I'm chalking it up to my mood, but it really bothered me the way they talked about this special cousin. There was something condescending about it. Does anyone know what I mean? sort of like they don't really get it, but they know how they're supposed to act about it. Like they don't really even know their cousin, but will go watch him because they are such good people. I had a hard time listening to them. And while I understood perfectly why they brought it up with me, I still kept wondering in the back of my head "Why are you telling me this?"
Several days later, I was tending a neighbor girl. M.K. happened to be home from school that day. This girl usually plays with A, not M.K. but, they wanted to play on our new Wii fit. while I was trying to help M.K. get situated, this girl says, "I bet M.K. can't even do that." I didn't think much of it and calmly told her that M.K. can do some things with help. The little girl was speaking totally innocently as any child would. She said "Remember the other day when I saw you at my school, and there was a boy with me? Well, I told him that M.K. can't walk because she's handicapped, and that I feel sad for her. He said he felt sad for her too." I know she's just a child. I know she's being sincere and probably just repeating what she's heard from other grown ups. but I hated it. I just hated hearing that. I told her that M.K. can do lots of things and that she's even learning to walk, and that she's very happy - there's no need for anyone to feel sad for her....I was angry. I still kind of am.
I hear things like this fairly regularly. Most the time I don't care. They don't bother me. People just don't get. I don't expect them to. But sometimes I go through phases, or get in moods or something where those kinds of comments really bother me. Sometimes, I just don't like other people. Do any of you get like that?
I know I'll get over it like I always do. Then I'll feel bad for thinking so rudely about all the people with good intentions. but I'm not perfect. I still have the moments where I'm just a brat about it all. Can anyone else relate?