Wednesday, April 1, 2009

So Frustrated

Things are not going well right now. I haven't posted because I hardly have time. Marshall has been grouchy and mean lately and his cycle just continues to go down. I have an appt with his Pediatrician on Friday. Hopefully they scheduled enough time that we can actually TALK and figure out what to do! My boy has serious anger issues. He has a meltdown at the drop of a hat. He's been hitting, kicking, and licking more than ever. I don't know what to do for him. He already takes a pretty high dose of Risperidone.

I went to observe Marshall at school today. No wonder they never see any negative behaviors!!! They don't challenge him AT ALL!!! Snack was fruit snacks and goldfish crackers with water to drink. When he didn't want to finish his fruit snacks, the teacher said, "Oh, it's OK. At least he tried them." Come on!!! He had a handful of goldfish crackers and like 4 or MAYBE 5 pieces of fruit snacks. You can't tell me that he is full!

Since it's cold and snowing today, they stayed inside for recess. First Marshall and I went to do file folder games at a table. The first game he did was count the dots on the snowmen and match the written number with the number of dots. That was not very hard for him. Next I picked the game where he is supposed to match the upper case letter with the lower case one. He didn't want to do this because it's too hard. So, he decided to wait for time to run out. If he has to do something that is hard, he finds a way to get out of it. Next it was time to trace and cut out a kite. When I held his hand to steady it, he could trace perfectly fine. When it was time to cut, he couldn't do it with one hand. Finally he had to use two hands but still couldn't cut it. Finally, I did part of it for him and helped him do the rest. Again, not really challenging to him, is it? Why would he get angry at school? He gets to play with toys, play with friends, and not do anything that is hard for him. Great, way to push my child to try new things.

His OT tested his fine motor skills and I'm going to get that result tomorrow but the school district's OT said if it's not the same test they use, he will have to be tested again. OH lovely. That will mean no services still most likely. How pathetic is it that if your child is in the 9th percentile, he/she doesn't qualify for services. Really?! The 9th?! That means 91% of kids who are about the same age as him, are better at fine motor skills and other areas than he is. Doesn't that inspire?! (Insert sarcasm here) This is sad. I worry he will have a rough time with Kindergarten but we'll just worry about that road when we get there.

I'm so tired. He isn't sleeping well and over the last couple weeks, has wet the bed at LEAST once a week. It's been getting more and more frequent. He's also flapping his hands a lot more. He jumps around shaking his hands all the time. His teacher said now that I mentioned it to her, she has noticed that he does that a lot. I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of his teacher never noticing any "problems" with him. I mean, I'm glad he's good in school but they have to challenge him! Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy when I tell people he has problems. I'm not making this stuff up!!! It is NOT normal for a 4 yr old to scream, cry, get angry, and hit just because we told him he has to get himself dressed. We're tired of getting him dressed. He's four years old and we know he can do it. I'm burned out. Good thing we get to visit Grandma this weekend. I need a break. Not that it will be much of a break but usually he will play with her for a little while.

Right now he's at the kitchen table refusing to eat his cheese tortilla. He says it's too much but it's not. He just doesn't want to eat it. I'm giving myself a break from him for a minute.


Jessica said...

Aprilyn I am so sad that you are struggling with frustrations. I know life can be so over whelming and demanding. Some days it's too much. I have a little bit of advise, Im not sure how much it will help but take what works. Before Jonah got sick, I was a director of a wonderful preschool/daycare. My back ground is in early childhood education. I have had a lot of expierience with children with social/emotional problems, Autism and behaioral problems. I will let you know non of this is new to the teacher. She may have a difficult time with marshall and does not want it to reflect on her teaching skills. She may have a hard time dealing with confrontation so she always gives in to what Marshall wants, or the school may have an inside policy to just try to handle situations on their own.
If you want Marshall to be challenged let the teacher know. Challenge for children = learning.
If he ends up not qualifing for the OT have his teacher learn what is best for him and have her start working with him on these areas during free play or outside time. You are a great mom and I know you will fight for your beautiful boy. I am just helping light the fire...As for the hand flapping, Jonah is struggling with that as well... Good Luck!

Annette Monts Falls said...

prayers being & hugs sent from moms across the states.....hope you catch them & that they will bring some sunshine from SC that helps ~

Anita Nap said...

Thanks for the advice Jessica. I want him to be challenged. He needs to be!! Right now he has a friend from school over. His friend is 5 and Marshall is 4. The friend keeps saying, "Marshall, don't hit me." I don't know how to stop it.
I should video tape the hand flapping for you. I KNOW he isn't what people think of when they think Autism. I know he's different. I also know there is something wrong and I keep wondering why nobody will diagnose him. I'm tired of skirting around the issue. It's time to get this boy diagnosed so we can get the services he needs.

Melissa said...

Hey Anita,
I know in the past you have looked for a special trampoline with a handle for Marshall, but they were alot of money. I don't know if that is the case, but today I was looking on a website and came across this..

It is a stabilizer bar you can use with any trampoline, like the cheap ones you can buy at walmart. The price was pretty reasonable. Just an FYI for you.

I am sorry you have had such a hard time... it seems like things always go in cycles. For awhile things will be going OK, then you have rough stretches. I hope you can find the strenghth you need to get through this. If you need anything else... don't hesitate!

Jessica said...

When he hits I would be so over dramatic and run to the other child and be super sypathetic to what had happened. I would show Marshall how HIS actions hurt HIS friend. I would repeat it a couple of times to the friend about how sorry you feel for him, and how hitting is not how we play. The friend might think your kookoo but Marshall will see your facial expressions and here your wording.

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