Any Advice?

We got progress reports and OT reports on our two kiddos this past week. It made me in one way feel validated for my instincts have been on this whole time, but I also felt a bit sad. I don't want them to suffer or stand out. We need help with how to teach them social skills, attention, how not to follow negative peer leads and how to adjust to new situations. My youngest at six months old has syndactly, webbed fingers as well. He does not like to be laid on his back, strapped in his car seat or confined in blankets or socks. Both he and his 4 year old brother like to hit their head into things and are VERY oral seeking. And we had his first major ear infection already, not good! If any of you have any input or ideas on our areas needing work please let us all know! We are looking for help with:

managing feelings appropriately
playing well with other children
using pencils and pens, writing tools correctly
exploring cause and effect
appropriate social behavior
telling the truth
managing anxiety and separation
sorting and classifying
paying attention to detail
sensory overload in the classroom
risk taking behaviors
reduced verbalizations of need, reverting in age
trying unfamiliar foods
staying engaged and interested in school
taking and hoarding things
nightmares