It seems like every Sunday it just gets worse. Nursery. Nothing strikes fear into my JT's heart more than that word, or so you would think if you saw him at 10:15 every Sunday. I used to stay in there with him the whole time. Then I started sneaking out just to have the workers bring him to me after 5 minutes of nonstop screaming. Then I was called to teach the 3 year olds. So every week I could hear him crying off and on (more on) for 2 hours.
This week we hit our peak. When he saw the stairs leading to nursery he started crying and wiggling. Then he forcefully shook his head "no" while signing "please". It was heart breaking. I made it halfway up the stairs before I started crying. We had had such a long week making him go places he didn't want to go and seeing people he didn't want to see and he was begging me, there is no other way of describing it. As I cried, he took my face in his tiny hands and pulled my head towards him hugging my head to his and crying along with me.
So he came to class with me. He doesn't really like it and it makes teaching much more difficult but I am not sure the best thing to do. He can't sit still through 3 hours of church. We barely make it through the first meeting without problems. Do I leave him at home? I feel like he should come to church....but if it is a bad experience why not leave him at home with his dad? The Presidency said they would give me a break from my class for a few months to sort things out but this isn't gonna change in a few months.
He acts this way every time I walk out of a room. I haven't gone to the bathroom or taken a shower without an audience since he could crawl. Do I need to be more forceful? I don't want to be, I have to make him do so much he doesn't like already and this doesn't seem as important. Is this something he will grow out of someday? I imagine he won't be 30 and crying at the bathroom door so I guess someday. I love that he loves me it is just times like this that it makes me want to scream.