Saying a Prayer in my Heart

I said a silent little prayer on the way home from the ENT today because I know I have to be strong for my children. They can't see mom cry. We took our little six month old in today and when they took us into the sound proof booth to test his hearing it was everything I could do not to cry right then. I have been there so many other times with two other children but something about him being so tiny and fragile. When she said his name and he didn't turn his head something inside of me dropped. He has partial hearing loss and fluid in his ears, so we are off to Primary Children's right after the New Year. I have reservations about the anesthetic because he is so young. Out other son went in at nine months but was also a chunk compared to the wee one. They are also going to scope his nose for obstructions. I wonder will this effect his speech? Will he be delayed as our daughter was? Does anyone have any intervention ideas for helping with speech and hearing loss? What milestones should I be looking for? Anyone know where to get Signing Time videos at a reducecd rate?

Why is it not getting easier with each time we go through this? I am glad I know what to expect but why is it I still feel vulnerable as a mommy who loves her little ones SO much?!

Sister's tube is out and her neck is being observed for two weeks before they consider two surgeries on her. I am so grateful for prayer. I know these are HIS children not mine and they are in HIS hands.