Saturday, March 6, 2010

I can feel it in the air....


Don't you hate it when you can feel a "bad attitude" coming on? I used to have a depressed week every month. Since I have started school (7 months ago) I have only had about 3 bad days. But now I feel one coming on. I suppose it isn't coming on, it is here and I am just fighting it harder than I used to.


One of the big contributors is my Human Development class. It is a super interesting class and I need to take it for my major. It gets a little depressing though when I hear about all of the things that JT should be doing and what I have already missed out on. It certainly doesn't help that I am the only mother except the professor and so she askes me a lot of questions. She knows JT has CP and yet she still asks questions like, "Isn't it wonderful the first moments after giving birth and they lay the baby on your chest and you just have that bonding moment?" Do you really want me to answer that? I had to BEG my doctor to let me touch him before he was rushed away. I spent the first week unable to hold him and trying to not get attached because everyone thought he wouldn't live. I didn't get to have him lay against my chest until he was a month old. I usually just say something like, "It was different for me" or something like that.


So here she is asking me questions when I have nothing good contribute. I have tried not looking at her but she just stares at me while she "asks the class" and then calls on me specifically to give examples of whatever we are talking about even if I am not looking at her.


So it has been annoying but not terrible. Than we touched slightly on genetic defects and she said things that really made me upset. Namely, we were talking about microcephaly and she said that in about 95% of these cases the mother did drugs or drank while she was pregnant and that when this is found in a child they look to the mother to find out what she did. When I said that there are cases when they don't know what caused it and it wasn't something that the mother did she just said, "Not really, for the most part it is something the mother did." Thanks lady, now whenever these kids meet someone whose child has microcephaly they will think that it is the mother's fault. They will only think of the 95%, not the 5%.


So that was the 2nd really frustrating thing about the class. Now we are learning about toddlers. I love 3 year olds. They have always been my favorites because of the funny things they say and crazy things that they think up. Since he turned 3 the fact that I don't get to hear my son's thoughts has been so disappointing. I have been looking forward to this stage since I was 13 years old (since my sister was that age and I found how fun it was) and now I am missing out on my favorite part.


So I am already feeling bummed out in class and avoiding her gaze but she is talking about strange requests children make like her son saying, "Come out moon!" in the middle of the day. So of course she asks if I have any examples with my son. I say, "Not really. He doesn't talk." And she comes back with, "I know, my son doesn't really talk either."


What? Are you insane?! No, my son DOESN'T TALK! I waited 3 1/2 years for him to call me "Ma". He says ma, da, go, and ho. Don't tell me you understand because your son only speaks in 3 word sentances. Don't tell me you understand when your son not only speaks those 3 word sentances in English but he says them in Chinese too! Than she goes on to complain that last week at her son's 3rd birthday party she was "so embarrassed" because her son's friends are all talking in regular sentances and he is still using shortened sentances.


Embarrassed. I wanted to slap her. What I wouldn't give to have my son do that. She also informed me that her brother was born with CP but grew out of it. Huh? Does that happen? I don't see my son "growing out" of his brain damage. Perhaps he had a super mild case and just ended up being kind of clumsy, I have heard of that happening.


The thing is that she is a really nice person, just totally...oblivious. I go back and forth, do I write her an e-mail or just wait it out? There are only 4 more weeks of class, why make a fuss? We will be done with the toddler stage soon and then she will stop asking me all of these heart wrenching questions. *sigh* What do you guys think? Sorry this is a bummer post. On the bright side, isn't my son adorable? (He is helping with my husband's motor build)

12 comments:

Preemie Miracle said...

Can I ask who it is you are taking it from. I took it from the U from Marissa Diener? She was really good and was kind. She even went and asked if she could come to the NICU and see Tyler and observe. I would hope it isn't her and if it is SEND AN EMAIL.

I am sorry that you are not having a good time. I would send an email. Hopefully they would be nice enough to take it and be understanding.

Preemie Miracle said...

Can I ask who it is you are taking it from. I took it from the U from Marissa Diener? She was really good and was kind. She even went and asked if she could come to the NICU and see Tyler and observe. I would hope it isn't her and if it is SEND AN EMAIL.

I am sorry that you are not having a good time. I would send an email. Hopefully they would be nice enough to take it and be understanding.

Jessica said...

Haha, had to laugh through this post only because I took a human development class last semester and It was a diddo of what you are saying! People are so UNSENSITIVE! It's sad, I think I use to be one of those people. Now Im not and Im not afraid to tell people, (especially those who are in a class to learn) HOw REAL life is...Its not all TEXT BOOK some of US have REAL LIFE situations that are not very common. Hope you make it through the class, it is probly harder that its the professor of all people! i feel for you! I hope you can make it through the Mood thing fast, I had mine a day last week spent the day cyi.ng and the next day it all seemed do able again...best of luck, if you need any thing we are all here for you!

Jessica said...

Haha, had to laugh through this post only because I took a human development class last semester and It was a diddo of what you are saying! People are so UNSENSITIVE! It's sad, I think I use to be one of those people. Now Im not and Im not afraid to tell people, (especially those who are in a class to learn) HOw REAL life is...Its not all TEXT BOOK some of US have REAL LIFE situations that are not very common. Hope you make it through the class, it is probly harder that its the professor of all people! i feel for you! I hope you can make it through the Mood thing fast, I had mine a day last week spent the day cyi.ng and the next day it all seemed do able again...best of luck, if you need any thing we are all here for you!

Katie said...

No, I go to Weber State. Her name is Wei Qiu. She really is a nice person. I know she wouldn't mean to be rude she is just so oblivious to how she must sound to me.

Katie said...

No, I go to Weber State. Her name is Wei Qiu. She really is a nice person. I know she wouldn't mean to be rude she is just so oblivious to how she must sound to me.

Melissa said...

What is up with Blogger double posting??

Anyway, Katie, I wish I had some great and wonderful answer. But I don't. I do agree with Nancy to email the professer. It can't hurt. I think maybe she does need to hear that there are difference's and some kids are not text book kids.

I hope you can snap out of the funk you are in. I hate when that happens. But it does and we have to move on. It does help to have support from people who 'get it'.

And I am still reeling over her lecture about microcephaly. I don't even know where to begin. I know since Josh has microcephaly I am being a tad bit sensitive... but I HAVE wondered if there was something I did during my pregnancy that caused some of his problems. I think alot of us mothers with special needs kids' wonder the same thing. It is sooo sad that she is spreading that kind of message. GOod think I wasn't in her class. I might have blown up. I know two other kiddos with microcephaly now and in no way did the mom's do anything to cause it. Just unnerves me.

JT is getting so adorable!! We need to find time during spring break to get together. Let me know when you are free.

Katie said...

I know Melissa. I was livid. Don't you dare blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. Which is why I wanted to slap her.

Katie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lori said...

i'm a little late to comment, sounds like these fabulous ladies had some great advice.

i love that picture, very very cute.

tiptoe mama said...

I'm a little late in commenting too. But I wanted to add that situations like that are the whole reason I started this blog. So many people just don't get it. It makes me angry hearing the things she said too. It think it would be hard for any of us to sit through that. Good luck and know that at least here, we get it, and we love you.

tiptoe mama said...

p.s. We also knew a family whose son 'grew out' of cp. He was a teenager, and our MK was just about 2 or 3. It gave us a lot of hope thinking that maybe it was possible for MK to progress that much. We asked them all sorts of questions and were all inspired and everything. Then we found out through one of our therapists who lived in their neighborhood that the mother has Munchausen by Proxy - which is where the parent pretends that their child has illnesses in order to get attention for themselves. No wonder he was a perfectly normal teenager! It was heartbreaking! And of course we realized how naive we were....growing out of CP. If only such a thing were truly possible. I guess we'll grab onto any shred of hope we can find, won't we?