Stemming

Hi everyone! It's the MIA lady! I've been so busy lately that I haven't had much time to post anything. Plus, I feel guilty that I haven't had time to read others' posts so I just stayed away.

I'm sad today. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes in my attempt to prove to the world that my son has Autism. I go back and forth between convinced he has Autism and really unsure. We still have no official diagnosis. When do I push for this? It drive me insane!!! I can't tell you how many times I hear, "He can't be autistic! He communicates so well!"

Over the last month or so, Marshall has been shaking his hands. He used to only do it when he was frustrated and couldn't remember what he wanted to say. Now he does it ALL the time! He holds his hands up at about shoulder height and shakes them out to the side of his body. He does it more while jumping or taking big steps around. I don't know why he does it. It must be a form of stimulation. His OT is trying to figure out what what he needs to compensate for. When my friend asked him why he does it, he said to get the itch off. She asked him where the itch is and he rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and shoulders and arms, and front as he showed her where it itches.

This week, 2 grown men have mimicked Marshall and I do not find it funny at all! Our downstairs neighbor did it right back at him as Marshall was saying that he had been waiting a billion hours for them to come outside. Then yesterday, Marshall was jumping and flapping his hands, and the guy whose kids I babysit shook his hands out exactly the way Marshall does. He said, "Hey Marshall!" and then flapped his hands. I don't find it funny. I don't know why they would do that. It just makes me sad.

One more thing... we have great news! The BEST NEWS IS: MARSHALL SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT FOR 2 WEEKS NOW!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy!

Two Nights in a Row!!

Marshall has slept through the night in his own bed 2 nights in a row!!!! We used to have a couple of nights here and there where he slept great but it's been so long. We're THRILLED!! Now if he can only keep it up. I'm not counting on it though. Not because I'm a pessimist, but because I'm a realist. It takes more than 2 days to convince me that he's going to keep going with that pattern.

Oh, and my husband pointed out that my description needs to be changed. Marshall is now four years old and we're getting closer to a diagnosis. Not there yet but at least we're getting somewhere.

I have to share something I had forgotten about. You know how people say that some kids with Autistic Spectrum Disorders are pretty normal and then they suddenly change? Well, today I was talking with the lady who used to watch Marshall for us during church for the hour we had to leave. We used to have a calling as Sacrament Meeting coordinators at a Mentally Handicapped Facility. Those places aren't the cleanest and we didn't want to take Marshall there. He was barely one and still quite susceptible to germs so we made arrangements for this woman and her husband to take care of Marshall for the Sunday School hour. They watched him every Sunday for several months. She said one day he just changed. He was fine with them watching him and would play and interact but one day he just zoned. He was about 16 months at the time and wasn't really talking yet but she said he just stared and wouldn't respond to anyone. He wouldn't just snap back to himself when he saw us again either. It was like he was looking right through us. The longest he did this was 20 minutes. The thing that caught my attention today was when she said, "He just changed suddenly. One week he was fine, the next time he would zone out." Strange huh? He did this every time we left him after that. He also did it in nursery. He just stopped what he was doing. He didn't cry, or talk or anything...just stared off into space. It took Brian a good 20+ minutes to bring him back after that one too.

Meltdown after Meltdown, After Meltdown...

This was how our day went today. It started bad because last night he slept so poorly!!! Brian got up with him 3 times before he went to bed, then I got up with him 3 or 4 more times after that. This doesn't include the times I thought he wasn't crying enough for me to go check on him. So, we're all tired but when Marshall is tired, he just can't cope with life! Poor guy. He cried over every little thing today and when he wasn't crying, he was angry. I tried to get him to take a nap by swinging him in his Airwalker Swing. It's the ONLY way he will ever take a nap. I thought he was asleep but 10 minutes later, he was calling for me. Strange..

After he had a HUGE fit about not wanting to dress himself, I finally picked him up, put him on my lap, held him very tight, and just rocked him for a bit. That calmed him down. I could feel him relax. I heard him sigh. He was practically ASKING for deep pressure. Yesterday, while waiting for the TRAX train, he actually asked me to do his "tens" on him. He calls deep compressions tens because we do 10 compressions. Cute huh?

I couldn't find anything that made him happy today. He even kicked his brother in the crotch for no reason. It's frustrating when he does that. It's sad to look at his face and see the dark circles under his eyes. He's exhausted but he sleeps so restlessly. I hope tonight goes better for him. So far so good. Cross your fingers for me. Nah, forget the fingers, can you pray for me instead?