No, I Haven't Fallen Off The Planet

I've just been REALLY busy. I started delivering newspapers every morning, and now I've discovered a new meaning of the word "tired". I only THOUGHT I was tired before.

Many exciting things are happening on the homefront here. The biggest news is that my dh finished his PhD in Theoretical Astrophysics! He was BLESSED to get hired as an Assistant Professor at Missouri Western State University. He will be teaching Physics and Astronomy. We are excited (and nervous) about this next step in our lives. We currently live in Utah, so this is going to be a big change for us. My dh is flying out to Missouri the 2nd week in July to find us a place to live. I can't go because I have to work, and we can't afford the airplane tickets anyway. My older boy will be at Scout Camp, so it would just be me, dh, and Marshall, but that is too expensive. DARN! Once we find out where we're going to live, the real work begins! Marshall will be starting Kindergarten out there, and I think he's going to need an aide to work with him. His fine motor skills are still very poor, and he has a lot of trouble with social skills. I try to teach him that he doesn't need to talk to EVERYONE he ever meets. ~Sigh~ It's a slow process.

I get a little overwhelmed when I think about moving to a new state and having 2 kids starting a new school. I'm not sure what I need to do to ensure Marshall gets the services he needs. Utah (and especially our school district) has been one of the WORST places to live when you have a child with Asperger's. He is too smart for the Title I preschool, but not delayed enough for special education services. We had him in an integrated pre-school this year, but he hated it. He was the only kid there who was not wearing diapers. The other kids were mostly working on talking. You can't get Marshall to STOP talking. :) In April I had finally had enough, and just kept him home. It wasn't worth the price I was paying.

I'm not sure if I ever came on here and shared the news, but we did finally get an official diagnosis. He definitely has Asperger's Syndrome. I'm not sure I completely understand what the doctor wrote so I'm copying it here.

Multi-Axial Diagnoses

Axis I 299.80 Asperger Syndrome

300.02 Anxiety

782.00 Sensory Integration Difficulties

Axis II V71.09 No diagnosis

Axis III No known complicating factors

Axis IV Problems with: other psychosocial and environmental problems

Axis V Current GAF- .50

Past Year GAF- Unknown

Does anyone know what that means?

Reading Again

I've been reading this book. I'm not very far into it, but it is really helping me understand Marshall more! If you think your child has Asperger's Syndrome, I HIGHLY recommend you read this. I can't wait to read more. It's a good thing we're going on a LONG drive to Chicago. We leave Wednesday, will stay at a hotel that night, and finish our drive Thursday. I can't wait!! I grew up in this area and I want to take my kids back to see where I lived. I hope Marshall will handle the drive. I'm taking extra therapy brushes, and chewey tubes and even GRANDMA to help him be happy in the car.

Read more information about the book by clicking the picture!

Everyone Has To Deal With It Eventually

I'm finally getting around to posting my feelings after the well child checkup on Thursday. Both my boys went in.

Nathan has ADHD and has been losing weight like crazy! He's 69 lbs now but he was 74 in August and the Pediatrician was concerned then! So, we've got to really push Nathan to eat more. What is it with my kids and eating problems? I wish I could lose weight as fast as Nathan did! The doctor also recommended that we try something like Zoloft for his anxiety because it has an anti-depressant in it as well. On Halloween, he was not even excited. He was too mellow. I kept asking if he wanted to go trick or treating with his friends and he kept saying, "I don't know," or not answering. Strange...

Marshall lost weight again too. He's now 29 lbs. That's quite a few pounds of loss from last time he was weighed. Last time he was I think 34 lbs or something. I was SO suprised when he was that heavy. But here we are. He is 4 now and 29 lbs. Time to push him to drink more Pediasure.

I expressed my frustrations and concern with Marshall's behavior, lack of sleep, eating problems, and anger. He said Marshall is a perfect candidate for Risperdal. I told him how Marshall OBSESSES about bad guys and monsters. He hardly ever sleeps through the night anymore. He wakes up crying that the bad guys are coming back. I remember Nathan having bad dreams and even having some night terrors but this is so different. I asked the doctor about it and he said it's normal for kids to obsess about something but kids with Asperger's Syndrome do it to a more extreme level. Did he just say what I thought he said? Yes, he used Asperger's Syndrome to describe Marshall. I expressed the difficulty in raising this boy. I told him (and nearly started crying) how it feels like I'm going crazy because people don't believe me that Marshall has problems. Bad parents. People don't say it out loud but they hint around to it. The doctor told me I'm not crazy and he thinks we're heading down the right track with him. He thinks Marshall probably needs something like Zoloft as well but he wants to see us increase the Risperdal first and then see if we need it. I mentioned my concerns about Risperdal being an anti-psychotic and therefore a dangerous drug. This doctor is really NOT one to prescribe medicine unless absolutely neccessary. He explained that Risperdal is working wonders for Marshall (and it is!!) but it's obvious he's not quite on a high enough dose. So, I'm feeling like it's time to leave the ADHD specialist and let my Pediatrician handle the meds for my boys. I've felt uneasy with the specialist for a while now. He's an older gentleman and very kind and was the first one to give me meds for Marshall. I just don't agree with his choice of medicines and neither does my Pediatrician. The Pediatrician said he would never give Marshall a stimulant. The ADHD doc has twice now and twice it's been awful.

I think there comes a time in every parent of special needs kids' lives that they have to deal with the fact that their child will always be different. I've never dealt with it. I think it's because I've had to fight so hard to get anyone to believe me that I half thought I was making it up! Then we would have a REALLY bad day and I would know that I'm right; That there is something wrong with Marshall. Thursday afternoon we had to go to the Scout Office (ugh. I'm there WAY too much). Every time we go there, Marshall has to go up one set of stairs. On our way out, he has to walk around the small rock wall that surrounds the flower bed and flagpole. He has to ask the same questions at the same places when we drive anywhere. If we drive past the Scera Pool, he says "There's the Scera Pool. It's closed. Mom, when can we ever go to the Scera Pool?"
The four year old boy that I babysit was excited when Marshall went to school Friday because then he could play how HE wanted to play. Marshall can't handle playing with his toys any other way than what he has in mind. Stubborn? OH YEAH! It made me kind of sad that this boy was happy to see Marshall leave. They didn't really get along that well. One day the boy scratched Marshall's head because Marshall was playing with the middle seat belt buckle. Who cares? Seriously, is it worth making my boy bleed? Marshall still has a scar on his head. This boy has hit him, screamed at him, and slammed his fingers in the door because Marshall did something he didn't like. Is that how it's going to be for Marshall? He is quite an annoying little boy but we just try not to get upset because he can't help it. He's just being himself. Will others not tolerate him? Will nobody want to be his friend? Only time will tell.



"Ima Mom" took these pictures last week. What do you see? We could not get him to smile that much. That's what you get when you take this boy to a new place, to do a new thing, and see somebody new who is talking to him and taking pictures of him. He wasn't that happy but he's still cute.

Where Has My Son Gone?

The last few days I have been punched and kicked more than ever before. This morning I am feeling sad about where my cute, affectionate little boy has gone. My four year old is really struggling with his temper lately. It all started at pre-school where another classmate was bullying him every day. My husband told our son next time to punch him in the nose. Mom's solutions was to tell his teacher and use his words. Well, now my son and this bully are best friends. We are tyring to transition my son from the Children's Center to our local elementary school, but it has been rough for him. He loves it up there. I have had to hold his arms and legs gently as possible to avoid injury to me or one of my other children. Any ideas moms? How do you curb and prevent the violence? I am feeling much more calm since I have already been through this once before with my oldest. It's no longer an embarrassment or a trigger for me to get frustrated. I just want it to stop.