Hey Girls. My HOLY COW post@

Communication is kind of a problem in this house. I think there are so many times that there are sometimes when the frustration of our lack of communication is so non existent that I can't help but feel some what sorry for myself. And it isn't me that can't communicate!

A glimpse into what I mean before I get to the holy cow part: Yesterday Tyler got up at the butt crack of dawn. Like 3 am. Not kidding. He was happy, mom um no! He had PT and OT yesterday as well which is a total throw of his schedule. He is not that set on schedules where he freaks. In fact I am not even sure he knew it was not the right day. What threw him off was the new contraptions he is to wear. He only had to have them on an hour. While getting on his shoes he was crying and crying and crying. His dad got him calm and the trip to PT was not as bad as I had anticipated. He was fine. He wouldn't let me leave him at PT which is abnormal but otherwise he was fine. He walked for Rachel and played his game for Jackie. He was allowed to take his shoes/braces off on the way home.

He played all day with Corine ( his respite lady) and we knew hew as exhausted. He fell asleep on our bed way late. We woke him up at 6 pm and bed time is at 8. He is a bear when he wakes up then compound his lack of verbal skills and you can only imagine the frustration he has. Dallas and I together couldn't figure out what he wanted. Finally we got him to sign SOMETHING. He wanted water, pool and something else. But he signs PULL not POOL. But it means the same thing to his ears.

So needless to say, communication is huge.

His speech is getting cut in Utah and he has been out of speech here for about a month. It was so hard to get use to the idea that he won't have it. He needs to talk. He needs the therapy.

While we were waiting to get our braces I thought I would go through the " Can you say this game?" We have been super working on just the basic sounds like Ba, Da, ta.. you know the stuff your 9 month old says.

He will say Ma or mom fine, and we FINALLY got him to say Ba. It was huge. We made a huge deal out of it. We let him be the praise junkie he is and then we moved on to something new. Those that know him know he won't say Da or dad at all unless it is by sign. Sign is fine. It is nice to see he KNOWS Dallas. But hearing it is way better.

SO, in the middle of a nasty circle K bathroom ( I really really had to go and Bret was still closed) he wanted to touch the floor. I said "ew no. Its Dirty! Can you say Da da Dirty?" SERIOUSLY we do this ALL day. When he wants something we say can you say "Fo fo food." I am sure people think we are NUTS. He looked at me and smiled and said Da. I gave him the praise junkie YAY and asked again. And again, and again. I finally called Dallas but he didn't answer and was super excited.

I was afraid he would pull a Tyler and NEVER say it again. But sure enough when we got home he said Da. When I would ask him to say Dad he would say Da and sign dad at the same time. It was making his dad BEAM from ear to ear.

So HOLY freaking cow! He has a new sound.

Signs and sounds he is currently making: A glorious LIST for YOU! ( the big words IE computer are all signs or approximations of signs)
Da
Ba
who ( like owl talk who who!)
T sound
S sound
Computer ( Dallas LOVES this one)
Dad
mom
Elephant
tiger
lion
monkey
pull
pool
water
all done
more
food
yummy( this one is just a sound he makes)

I think that is it for now. As you can see it is not extensive but it is a START and we love that he is progressing no matter what the speed!

* This was posted at my blog so you get a repeat*

BUT..... on a happy note. We are moving back to Utah. That's right ONE WEEK till we touch down in Utah county! Not sure how my hubby will do in Utah county but I am so excited. We have a new preschool that is just opening and hopefully we can get it all started and set up quickly!

A vent... By me

I love my son. He is my off spring and there are so many times I can't imagine life without him. BUT.... Today is NOT one of them. I am so irritated by his non verbal grunting. He KNOWS what he wants and I guess by some miraculous means he thinks that grunting and temper tantrum throwing , oh and not to mention that arm pinching thing he does is gonna help him get it. (luckily the head banging thing has not been happening)

SERIOUSLY Its not. I try to be patient. I try to be loving and caring but all I can think about is my bed and headphones.

This morning my incredibly pleasant spawn woke up at 4 am.. Thanks right 4 am. Do you know what is up at 4 am. NOTHING. I tried the whole sleep with mommy thing. Look Tyler the sun is still asleep direction and NOTHING. He kept signing all done.

Put in a movie. Go potty, get a carnation for him and put up the gate to the bathroom. Try sleeping for a few more minutes and nothing.

Finally, had DH sleep/watch him ( he can sleep though a lot) and I head to another room. Only to be awoke at 7 so that Ty wasn't "alone" for to long. I go in to put on Jammie pants and find the toilet OVERFLOWING with Toilet paper. He had knocked over the gate and put and ENTIRE ROLL in the toilet. Taken everything off the bookcase ( a daily occurrence) and pulled EVERYTHING off the dresser.

He ate a good big bites of food for breakfast. And then decided hew as all done and to throw a fit when I tried to change him. Then to scream and throw a fit as I went about the morning doing laundry and picking up.

I got ready for Sunday ( my mom wasn't kidding when she said hell broke lose on Sunday Morning) only to have him throw yet 2 more temper tantrums about the movies HE chose to watch.

He finally fell asleep on the floor and I ran some errands ( missing church of course because who wants to go when they just survived a handful of tantrums) only to have him wake up and whine, whine, whine even when I am sitting on the floor playing with him.

Oh and he threw all 56 letters in his magnet alphabet set, spit out his drink on the floor, threw his balls out of his ball pit and all the while managed to make a mess in the kitchen.

Did I mention if he wasn't cute I would be HURTING something right now?


Oh and if anyone asks if I would change anything, I don't think I can honestly answer I would. I would change him. I would make things easier for him. I would make him "normal."

I am a bad mom

Taking the moment

Last night as we were doing the hustle and bustle of night time routines and night time work, I almost missed the moment.

You know, the moments where you sit back and smile and think "wow, he is mine."

The week has been a tantrum of a week. We have been asked to start trying to send him into PT and OT alone. It has taken the entire session to get him to stop crying. We did it with Speech today and he cried for a while as well. It is tiring. It is exhausting and it is emotionally sometimes more than I can take and wonder how much more I can handle. All I want is to have a conversation, a simple one. All I want is to talk to my son.

Where is my magic wand?

On nights like last night I wonder how I got to be so lucky. He lays there in his big boy bed all sweet, quiet and an angel. It takes my breathe away.

Miracles Happen!

Hello World!

I am new here an wanted to introduce myself.

My Name is Nancy. I am a stay at home mom that works part time. I work in the evenings so that all our "issues" are dealt with in the day and we get all the benefits of working and the SAHM part.

My son is Tyler. He is a 25 week preemie. He was born in 2005 and came home with us on December 23rd 2005. One day before his due date.

His entrance into the world brought us into a world we only heard existed. It has been a roller coaster that we have endured as well as we can. We have enjoyed most of the journey. There are still things we are learning to deal with and as they come we just change our course.

Tyler was diagnosed with grade 3 and 4 IVH ( inter ventricular hemorrhage) at a few days old. It has since brought with it a myriad of events that has lead us to today. He developed hydrocephalus and craniosynostosis. He has ROP ( retinopathy of prematurity) that has left him with low vision. And just recently we have received a diagnosis for Cerebral Palsy.

Tyler is now three and we have entered the school age world of preemies. We are so proud of where we have come from and where we are going. Tyler is not the baby on paper and we are always so amazed at what he has accomplished.

I can't wait to continue reading and writing.